Anamnesis, Part 4: Love and the Arrow of Time

In 2017, I traveled back to Allentown, Pennsylvania, to lay my mother to rest. As we visited places I had known during my childhood, I became aware of the footsteps of the past. They were my footsteps in a park feeding squirrels, going to Kindergarten, playing in front of my grandmother’s house, strolling down Hamilton Street with my parents while taking in the grandeur of the hanging garden lamp posts.

But there was more. I envisioned my grandmother walking a mile to shop the Allentown Fairgrounds on the Saturdays of our weekend visits. I could see her in the now long-gone Stationery Store, where we would visit her as she worked. At Muhlenberg College, I could imagine the footsteps of my father, a young college student, crossing “the circle” on his way to German Class. I could imagine my mother, in Hess’ Department Store, trying on the wedding dress my grandmother gifted to her. I could feel the presence of my parents on their wedding day at Saint James United Church of Christ. I could sense the footsteps of the Griesemer family all around Allentown, stretching back generations.

Was I just calling up blurry memories and imaginings? Of was I engaging in something more profound?  

I now realize that it was more profound, a realization informed by the composite photographs I’ve been creating since taking on family genealogy five years ago. I call them “time splice” images, though they are technically known as rephotography montage. They are images created by merging a historic photograph with a present day photograph taken from exactly the same vantage point. By aligning the images, one can open a visual gateway to the past, and see the footsteps that were left there all of those years ago. The effect is so compelling, it can make you feel like you can simply step from the present into the past in the same scene.

The desire to travel through time is nothing new. Since at least 400 BCE, authors have written stories about breaking out of what physicists refer to as the arrow of time, that unyielding linear experience we all share of moving from the past to the present to the future. Since the dawn of the industrial revolution, authors have written stories about technological marvels which, through some high-powered energy, give people the ability to jump to the past or the future. Science Fiction is rife with time machines that defy the laws of physics. The mind, and especially love, rarely figure into how it could happen.

This was my view too, until I came across a video by CineMollusk, who publishes video essays on concepts presented in the cinema. He delved into the movie Somewhere in Time, which was based on the Richard Matheson novel, Bid Time Return. I, like many romantics, have seen and enjoyed Somewhere in Time more than once. But until hearing this exploration of the story, I had always engaged in the “willing suspension of disbelief” deemed necessary to enjoy any movie involving time travel. Now, I think this story has much more to do with belief than disbelief.

Beyond the well-known love story, beautifully acted by Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymore, CineMollusk delves into several concepts that theoretically make time travel possible. The first comes from Einstein’s well accepted theory that the three dimensions of space are linked to the fourth dimension of time, known in physics as space-time. Second, we learn about astronomer Gustav Strömberg, who claims the existence of a five-dimensional universe, beyond space and time, which he called the “eternity domain.” In this domain, past, present and future are without meaning. There is only the oneness of existence. CineMollusk illustrates the concept with a familiar object – a film roll. A movie exposed on a roll of film presents, frame by frame, an entire timeline from beginning to end. Yet, you can look at the entire roll and see the complete timeline all at once. Third, the protagonist of the story, Richard Collier, achieves traveling into the past through rigorous self-hypnosis. He uses his mind convince himself that he actually is in the Grand Hotel in 1912, thereby making it happen. There is no “time machine.” ¹

CineMollusk presents other movies based on the same concept of the eternity domain, including Berkeley Square (1933), Slaughterhouse Five (1972), and Interstellar (2014). In Interstellar, I found the following dialog between fellow scientists, Joseph Cooper and Dr. Amelia Brand, particularly compelling:

“Maybe we’ve spent too long trying to figure this with theory,” says Brand.

“You’re a scientist, Brand,” Cooper admonishes.

“Then listen to me!” Brand interrupts “…when I say that love isn’t something we invented. It’s observable, powerful. It has to mean something.”

“Love has meaning, Yes. Social utility, social bonding, child rearing…”

Brand stops him, “We love people who died. Where’s the social utility in that?”

“None.”

“Maybe it means something more — something we can’t yet understand. Maybe it’s some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive. I’m drawn across the universe to someone I haven’t seen in a decade who I know is probably dead. Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.” ³

This dialog stopped me short because I have experienced what Brand describes. I recall loved ones who have passed on in my mind, sometimes feel their presence, and certainly see them in my dreams. I would venture to say that most of us have. Brand’s theorizing about a higher dimension, accessible to us by the powerful force of love, fits directly into the theory of the eternity domain and the premise of time travel in Somewhere in Time – no suspension of disbelief necessary. It also reinforces a favorite aphorism:

“Death is stronger than life.
But, love is stronger than death.”

Another video essayist, Like Stories of Old, explores the same concept of the eternity domain in Interstellar. In addressing experiences of loss and reunion with loved ones, he theorizes why we find such experiences so profoundly moving:

“It’s because we experience this dilation of time and subsequent feeling of loss in our own lives. Take, for example, the stories of people who were forced to stay in one place for a long period of time or went on some kind of journey. Coming home, for them, is rarely about the spatial element as it is about the passing of time. It’s the realization that life has moved on in your absence. It’s knowing that no matter how you move in the spatial dimension, you cannot escape time. All of us, inescapably suffer under the arrow of time.” ⁴

We have all felt the power of love when being reunited with loved ones after a long absence. At the furthest extremes, these reunions evoke powerful emotions that are so overwhelming, it brings tears those who witness it.

In 2018, 60 Minutes Australia followed Roshani Priddis as she embarked upon a quest to find her Shri Lankan birth mother who had given her up for adoption. Against all odds, her mother and two full siblings were found. She had never known her birth mother at all. Yet, when they embraced, there was an instant profound connection and tears all around. Afterwards, Roshani said:

“That first moment locking eyes with her and realizing that she was standing there was like…”

She pauses breathing in…

“It’s like time stood still and it was just so emotional. It’s just, like… It’s just like instant familiarity. I didn’t know what to expect and then it’s just like… pow! — Straight away!”

“It’s just nuts. I can’t believe it. It feels so good! I didn’t know how good it was going to feel and now that we’ve reconnected, I haven’t felt joy like this. It’s incredible. It’s an incredible experience.” ⁵

This testimonial of instant familiarity and exceptional joy is common to many reunions of long-lost families. And note that Roshani stated that “time stood still.”

As joyful as these reunions can be, not all of them succeed in reestablishing family relationships. Many who have experienced reuniting later testify realizing that what was lost from those missing years is unrecoverable. The consequences of life having moved on can be so significant, it’s just too hard heal the relationship. The arrow of time is unforgiving.

So, what resistance can we offer this relentless force of nature? Video essayist, Like Stories of Old, offers us an intriguing answer:

“We cannot escape time, but we can transcend it – and we are doing so increasingly.  Human beings have the unique ability to defy time by documenting in language and images. For a long time, the most important way to do this was through books. Books allow us to reach back and access moments from the past, not just to experience stories of old, but also to develop a sense of cultural history and pass on ideas and technologies. Just imagine what today’s society would have looked like were it not for this vast accumulation of the past. Today, we revisit the past through photographs, audio recordings, music, and film. This ability to transcend time is referred to as atemporality and our ever-growing access to it is unbinding us from time.” ⁶

I think this is why I find time splice images so compelling. One can see within them the past, as it was, aligned with the present, as it is. In one such image, I merged a present-day photograph of Cape May’s Chalfonte dining hall with a group of us posed for a photograph in the same location, 28 years ago. In that photograph, we ourselves were “time traveling” by reenacting a ballroom scene from more than 100 years earlier. It brought back a vivid memory of dancing in that same hall in 1988 in 19^th Century attire. We when stepped out onto the veranda, the rumbling sound of a carriage and its horse’s hooves on the street “transported” us to the Chalfonte Hotel of the 19^th Century. Were it not for the parked cars, the scene in that historic place would have been complete.

And what of Dr. Brand’s observation about love beyond death? As it happens, there’s quite a bit of observational data about that. Since medicine advanced into the realm of bringing patients back from flat-lining, documented near death experiences have been accumulating. 40 – 60 percent of people who have experienced an NDE report seeing loved ones who had passed on before them.  And some studies reveal that these people tend to have strong affective memory ties to loved ones, faith, or community. ⁸

Is it possible that our love for those who have passed could be the metaphysical bridge to the eternity domain? Could it be that our acts of remembrances for our loved ones and our ancestors make that connection stronger? Could the rituals of Día de los Muertos and All Saints Day be investments into reuniting with our loved ones in the realm beyond death?

These questions led me to Father Mike Shultz, who presented a podcast on why it’s important to visit a loved one’s grave. Father Schultz tells us that a human being, in spiritual terms, is a body and soul united. Death is the event that separates our souls from our bodies. And while the body deteriorates, the soul continues on. In Christianity, burying the dead is considered the seventh Corporal Work of Mercy, the practice of treating the deceased with respect and charity through a dignified burial or interment. This Act of Mercy honors the human body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, offers comfort to the grieving, and provides a way to pray for and remember the deceased with hope in the resurrection. As Father Schultz puts it:

“Mercy is the love that we need most and we deserve least. Mercy is the kind of love that we, in so many ways, do not have the ability to pay back. We take care of the bodies and we lay them in trust in Holy Ground. That is absolutely essential and one of the reasons why, as Catholic Christians, we do not ever scatter someone’s ashes. Even if someone is cremated, we inter them in a sacred place.”

“Now, we have funeral homes and other people who take care of burying the dead. So, you may ask, what I do?  How do I exercise that Corporal work of Mercy? What we can do is visit the graves of those who have gone before us. When we do it, we pray for them. When we do It, we intercede on their behalf.” ⁹

I bring this up not to criticize people who have scattered their loved one’s ashes, but to note and consider the importance of a sacred place for the dead. There is always the option to place a cenotaph for a loved one, something that countless family survivors have done when their loved ones could never be found. The point is to leave something – a “touchstone” for surviving family to visit them, remember them, and pray for them. Since ancient times to the present day, it is rare for a culture to exist that does not do this to honor the dead.

While we were visiting Harmony Grove Cemetery this October, I brought all of these concepts together in my mind – the theory of the eternity domain, the evidence of seeing loved ones at near death, the idea that love could break us free from the arrow of time, and the sacred practice of Corporal Works of Mercy. My perception of loss and death transformed and my commitment to Anamnesis is infused with even greater meaning.

A cemetery is no longer a place to expect malevolent ghosts, zombies, and skeletons – the silly tropes of the horror film genre. It’s a place to reconnect, through love, with those whom we loved and preceded us. We should be able to walk through it in the dark of the night without fear. As Hamlet says upon seeing a ghost, “I do not set my life in a pin’s fee. And for my soul—what can it do to that, being a thing immortal as itself?” Viewing death in this way even changes the classic momento mori: “what you are now, we once were; what we are now, you shall be.” Think about it. What you shall be may not be what is in the grave or tomb.

Discussing death with family – even our own death – does not have to be a discomforting conversation to be avoided. Yes, it’s a conversation about separation and loss, but not disappearance. It makes no sense that God would gift us something so beautiful as loving relationships only consign them to oblivion. With all the observational data from NDEs, it stands to reason that we can see our loved ones again.

Welcoming family heirlooms, preserving them, and passing them on, become acts of love – something especially true of heirloom photographs and videos. Not only are they priceless objects of remembrance and heritage, they may be what allows us to transcend the arrow of time through atemporality and find our loved ones. It means leaving legacy journals and videos for our children and grandchildren, as gifts of love, with hope they do the same.

Being a taphophile no longer means I’m an odd person who enjoys visiting cemeteries, graveyards, and tombs for unknown reasons. I’m a pilgrim who sees the hope and promise of reconnection and transcendence through Corporal Works of Mercy.

After leaving Harmony Grove Cemetery recently, we drove to Sonora, to Boone’s Memorials,  a family business founded in 1880. We looked over granite and engraving options and ordered a headstone for ourselves, with dates of death to be added as appropriate. Leaving the grounds, we marveled at what a good experience this had been. Neither of us felt strange at all and actually found it surprisingly comforting. We congratulated each other for doing something we didn’t want left as a burden to each other or to our family. In a few short hours, we ensured our remains would spend eternity in a sacred place with previous generations. We wanted nothing left to chance. Our stone also honors our commitment to remembering our family with a promise to join them when our times come. We hope our stone brings our descendants comfort and memories long after we are gone, as those of Sheryl’s ancestors have to her. And as my family’s, in Allentown, PA, have for me.

We both know that one of us will predecease the other. After almost four decades together, neither of us can imagine being buried anywhere else. We hope to have many more happy years together, enjoying our family and seeing our grandchildren come of age. But, one never knows. So, we’ve embarked on our final act of anamnesis. We’ve laid the groundwork to break through the constraints of the arrow, to find loved ones and be found. We have the solid conviction that, through love, we will find each other again, somewhere in time. ❖

Author’s Notes

See the page sidebar at the top on the right regarding the entire series on Anamnesis.

Regarding Inline Links

As Nicholas Carr writes in The Shallows, What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains:

“Links don’t just point us to related or supplemental works; they propel us toward them. They encourage us to dip in and out of a series of texts rather than devote sustained attention to any one of them. Hyperlinks are designed to grab our attention. Their value as navigation tools is inextricable from the distraction they cause.” ¹⁰

In recognition of this important point, I have decided to provide citations and links to related resources here at the bottom. Even if it’s online, let’s return reading to being a sustained experience without the constant distractions of links that scream, “go here!”

References

1. ‌”The Physics/Metaphysics of SOMEWHERE IN TIME (1980) | Film Essay.” CineMollusk. June 14, 2024. Video, 0:04:10, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OPr7f34yp0.
2. Hitchcock, Alfred, director. Vertigo. Paramount Pictures, 1958. 2 hr., 9 min.
3. Nolan, Christopher, director. Interstellar. Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures, 2014. 2 hr., 49 min.
4. “Transcending Time | Interstellar’s Hidden Meaning Behind Love and Time.” Like Stories of Old. April 22, 2017. Video, 0:08:42, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6kqaip7WS4. (paraphrased)
5. “Roshani Reunites with Mother 28 Years after She Was Forced to Give Her up | 60 Minutes Australia.” 60 Minutes Australia. September 13, 2018. Video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTRJKRgJo7Y.
6. “Transcending Time | Interstellar’s Hidden Meaning Behind Love and Time.” Like Stories of Old. April 22, 2017. Video, 0:10:37, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6kqaip7WS4. (paraphrased)
7. W, Justin. My Magnolia Room Restaurant Photos. 2024. Photograph. Tripadvisor, September 1, 2024.
8. key studies (van Lommel 2001; Greyson 2014; Klemenc-Ketis 2010; Martial 2020; Kelly & Greyson 2021)
9. “Why Can’t Catholics Scatter Their Ashes?” Ascension Presemnts. July 28, 2022. Video, 0:02:30, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OPr7f34yp0. (paraphrased)
10. Carr, Nicholas. 2011. The Shallows, What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.

Further Reading and Resources

CineMollusk’s Video Essay on Somewhere In Time

I highly recommend watching all of CineMollusk’s video essay (below) He goes into wonderful details on sources that novelist Richard Matheson used for the story.

Like Stories of Old Video Essay on Transcending Time

I also highly recommend watching the entire video essay (below) presented by Like Stories of Old. He goes into more detail than I did in this piece. But, what he presents is very thought provoking.

Roshani Priddis’ Emotional Reunion with her Mother

Roshani’s story is compelling, one can’t help but feel it. It’s a perfect example of the transcending power of love.

Father Mike Schultz explains the Final Corporal Work of Mercy

Father Mike Schultz connects the dignity of the human person to the dignity of the body in death—and beyond.

When will the stream be aweary of flowing
Under my eye?
When will the wind be aweary of blowing
Over the sky?

When will the clouds be aweary of fleeting?
When will the heart be aweary of beating?
And nature die?
Never, O, never, nothing will die;

The stream flows,
The wind blows,
The cloud fleets,
The heart beats,
Nothing will die.

Alfred Lord Tennyson